


loving her was red.

by m4kiroll



Series: femslash february 2021 prompts!! [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash February, Fluff and Angst, Probably ooc, This broke my heart to write, Unrequited Love, but also you're welcome if angst is your thing, didn't proofread this and you can probably tell, i'm only capable of writing angst and yearning, junko's an idiot but not a despair idiot, to the three celeshina stans: i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29145777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m4kiroll/pseuds/m4kiroll
Summary: celeste had only lost two gambles in her life. one was with hina when she said she wouldn’t enjoy the party, and the other was with hina’s love.(or, in which celeste pines for hina, who is in love with another.)
Relationships: Asahina Aoi/Celestia Ludenberg, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: femslash february 2021 prompts!! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139279
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	loving her was red.

**Author's Note:**

> [mini celeshina playlist i made of songs that i listened to while making this and songs that remind me of them in general](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5vIlWDR5bpnA0U8XcSPTiv)
> 
> happy femslash february everyone!! let's go wlws and nblws how we feeling  
> i'll try to post all the prompts (no promises lmao) even if i have to stretch into other months but for now enjoy them,, one of my biggest rarepairs,, if i converted anyone to celeshina-ism then my job here is done.
> 
> **day one: red**

Celeste fell for Aoi Asahina at a swift pace, but it felt all too slow for her. She hadn’t even realized the seed had been planted on the first day of school, but looking back on it, it was dreadfully obvious.

She had carefreely introduced herself to Celeste (“ _Heya! I’m Aoi Asahina, but my friends just call me Hina. ‘Sup?_ ”), and Celeste politely shook her hand and plastered a practiced smile on her face, returning her greeting, all while burying her disapproval at the informality beneath the surface. 

She had no intention of even befriending the girl throughout the year, let alone _fall_ for her, but all Hina had done was hold open the door and greet Celeste with a kind smile and excited eyes, and everything had changed for Celeste unknowingly. 

Luckily for her, as the Ultimate Gambler, she concealed her emotions good enough for Hina to remain oblivious to how flustered her laugh made Celeste, but the fact remained the same — the seed had been planted in Celeste’s consciousness, and all she could do was sit back and watch as it would bloom to something either beautiful or the remnants of a withered love.

* * *

Before she had met Hina, Celeste never considered herself one for donuts. Of course, Taeko Yasuhiro had had donuts from a cheap shop when money was low, but Celestia Ludenberg had never gone hungry — Celestia Ludenberg only dined on the finest meals.

However, all Hina had to do was plead with Celeste to go donut-tasting with her after a swim meet and Celeste found herself sighing, agreeing to go. 

As soon as she had received confirmation, Hina had already gripped Celeste’s arm firmly and dragged her along, uncaring that Celeste’s heels weren’t practical to run in. 

Celeste ignored the feeling of how nice it felt to be wanted as just a classmate — not as the lowly Taeko Yasuhiro or as the elite, wealthy Celestia Ludenberg but just as Celeste.

* * *

The donuts were, of course, satisfactory to Hina’s taste. Every now and then, she’d pick up on how a donut wasn’t as good as the rest, but if Celeste were to be honest, she couldn't identify a difference between any of the delicacies (besides the obvious being appearances). 

However, Celeste couldn’t help but sigh again as she handed her credit card over to the man behind the counter, eyeing Hina warily as Hina took a large sip of water to drown out the sweetness of the donuts from her mouth. It was a miracle Hina had gotten an education based on a scholarship and didn’t attend Hope’s Peak through the Reserve Course; Celeste didn’t want to know how much money Hina had spent on donuts throughout her life. 

Hina had flashed her a sheepish grin. 

“Thanks!” She exclaims, the word muffled by her swallowing the last donut. 

“Don’t mention it,” Celeste returns coolly, before pointing to the side of Hina’s mouth. “You have something…”

Hina brushed her finger against the opposite side of her mouth. “Did I get it?”

Celeste sighed (Hina couldn’t help but wonder how many times she had done so since the beginning of the day), before reaching out and grabbing a napkin between her two fingers. 

“Here,” She murmurs, brushing the napkin against Hina’s cheek with one swoop. She lifts the napkin back up, showing off the chocolate frosting that was left behind. 

“I coulda done that myself, y’know,” Hina mutters, a bit embarrassed and flustered as they left the donut shop. 

Giggling, Celeste shakes her head as if her reaction were amusing. “No, you couldn’t,” she disagrees, thinking of Hina’s first attempt. 

“Whatever,” she scoffs, but she’s smiling. At least she had made progress with Celeste! She knew she wasn’t an antisocial lost cause like Byakuya Togami! 

The two continue to walk in a comfortable silence as they make their way back to Hope’s Peak. Celeste listened to the steady and repetitive clicks on her heels against the ground, content with the silence. 

Hina, meanwhile, hummed a tune from a commercial she had heard earlier that day, glad that Celeste didn’t request for her to stop. That was a good sign, right? 

It wasn’t until a moment later it occurred to Hina the _click-_ _clack_ ing of Celeste’s heels was no longer in beat with Hina’s hums. In fact, it had stopped entirely. 

She turned, realizing Celeste was perched in front of a shop window, inspecting jewelry on display. 

“Are you going to buy some?” Hina asks as Celeste turned to her. She grinned mischievously as she elbowed Celeste’s side impulsively. “Or do you have a special mister in mind that you want to buy that for you? Lemme guess, Togami-kun?”

“Heavens no,” Celeste laughed, and Hina nearly caught a snort coming from her too. “I’m a lesbian, Asahina-san.”

“Hina,” She corrects, also smiling. “And same! But if a girl were to approach me, I’d totally want flowers, you know? I’m a sucker for that trope in romance movies.”

“I would have taken you as the chocolate type,” Celeste said with a raised eyebrow. The two continued to walk again. 

“Well, yeah, that too,” Hina admits, looking a bit sheepish. “But, I dunno, something about giving or receiving flowers is really sweet, you know?”

“I know,” Celeste says after a beat, and as Hina continues to prattle on about her favorite romance tropes, Celeste can’t help but wonder why she was being told all of this. 

* * *

A small bracelet was slid underneath Celeste’s dorm a few weeks later. 

The bracelet was intricately threaded together, and fit around Celeste’s wrist perfectly. It was black with the thinning strands of silver and metallic red captured in it, and it made Celeste’s cheeks flush for a reason she couldn’t decipher. 

That was until she read the note that had been slipped underneath it.

_Celeste -_

_I saw you playing with your wrist when we passed that jewelry shop when we tasted donuts a few weeks ago, and even though I’m not rich enough to shop at one of those rich people stores, I made you this. You’re welcome! ;)_

_\- Hina_

The winking face she scrawled onto the note was so on-brand of her that Celeste couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her lips upon reading it. A smile tugs the corners of her resting lips upwards, and soon Celeste finds herself smiling the smile that Taeko Yasuhiro normally had. 

She found herself not hating that part of Taeko Yasuhiro that had slipped out thanks to Hina.

* * *

The next day, she stuck the note on the frame of her vanity mirror, even clasping the bracelet underneath the sleeve of her lace sleeve. If the light caught it fittingly, one may see a glimmer of red and silver underneath the material of Celeste’s sleeve, but for now, it was just like a little secret Celeste had of her friendship with Hina. 

* * *

“I just don’t get why you don’t want to be at the party,” Hina admits in a hushed whisper to Celeste. 

The two were sitting in the library after their Homeroom period where they had received the news of a party being hosted in Leon Kuwata and Mondo Owada’s dorm room. Hina had immediately stood up, probably pulling a muscle, and began to gush hurriedly on how fun it would be. When asked who would attend, only Byakuya Togami, Toko Fukawa, and Celeste herself had denied the invitation. 

Hence, Hina confronting Celeste as soon as she could during her free period. 

“I don’t like any of them,” Celeste admits plainly, uncaring enough to come up with a decent lie. “Some I can tolerate on a good day, but at a party? No thank you.”

“Come _on_ ,” Hina pouted. “Everyone who’s coming is awesome! You’ll have fun!”

“Are you willing to bet on that?” Celeste asked, quirking a brow with a smirk.

“No, you’re the Ultimate Gambler!” Hina refuted in a _duh!_ tone. “I don’t have a death wish!”

“So you know I won’t have fun?” Celeste asked, widening her teasing grin. 

“No, I know you will!” Hina counters.

“Then you have no reason to not place a bet,” Celeste points out, extending her hand. With a huff, Hina takes it, unaware of how Celeste’s smirk went up further. 

_Hook, line, and sinker._

“See you at the party tonight, dear,” Celeste rises, turning on her heel. “Get your money ready.”

“And you get yours!” Hina shouts behind her. 

“I don’t think so,” Celeste lets out an airy laugh underneath her breath. 

* * *

Needless to say, Celeste was officially a few hundred yen short after losing the bet when Hina had caught Celeste smiling and laughing, but it was worth it when she saw Hina’s own delighted smile. The things she did for her only friend at Hope’s Peak… 

* * *

Some days, Celeste found herself actually enjoying the company of her classmates. However, this day was not one of them. 

“Celestia!” A voice called for her. “Wait up!”

“Enoshima-san, I never said to call me by my first name,” Celeste points out, turning around to face the girl that had finally caught up to her.

“Whatever! It’s important!” She snapped. “I have to talk to you about the party last week.” 

“What of it?” Celeste asked, patience thinning by the second. 

“Well, I’ve been trying to find you _all week_ , but _someone’s_ been hiding away,” Junko said, giving a pointed glare to Celeste before continuing. “I just wanted to know when you’re making a move!”

“A… move?” Celeste asked, taken aback. 

“A move,” Junko echoed. “You know, with Hina?”

“Why would you think that?” Celeste asked, looking at Junko as if she had three heads. Junko herself looked unfazed. 

“Celestia, sweetie —” Junko ignored the protest at the use of her first name, “I’m also the Ultimate Analyst. I’m practically the Ultimate Matchmaker at this point — I’m responsible for getting Mukuro and Sayaka together, you know…”

Celeste said nothing, unwilling to give Junko any satisfaction from a possible response. 

“I’m honestly surprised Kyoko hasn’t said any of this to you,” Junko pouts, eyeing Celeste warily. 

“Why would she?” Celeste asks, pressing her lips in a thin line. She hated when Junko turned from the impulsive fashionista to the observing analyst in moments. She wanted out of this conversation, and now. 

“Well, duh! She’s the Ultimate Detective. Observation’s the art of her work.” 

“And what would she be observing?” Celeste inquiries, deciding to humor Junko as she turned a corner; she was so close to the dorms… 

“You only having eyes for Hina last night!” Junko said with an unapologetic snicker. 

“I… what?” Celeste stammers. It had to be one of the few times anyone had seen her rendered speechless. 

“You heard me!” Junko gave a toothy grin. “I’m willing to help if you need any help making a — oh look, we’re at your dorm —”

“Not a _word_ of this to anyone, am I clear?” Celeste hissed, though the intimidation didn’t have the effect she wanted on Junko. The aforementioned simply shrugged and rolled her eyes paired with a teasing and knowing grin. 

“Whatever you say!” She chirped, dashing away to her own dorm. “Later!”

Celeste never gave a response. She slammed her dorm room shut, grateful for the soundproof walls, and let out a frustrated groan. She was _Celestia Ludenberg_ — no one had ever even come near a B-rank, let alone an A-rank! Junko was just… bullshitting. Just because she genuinely smiled around Hina did _not_ mean she had fallen for her — she was one of the few that occupied C-rank, and she would _not_ jeopardize that for Junko’s foolish visions. 

Absentmindedly, she began fiddling with the bracelet underneath her sleeve, until she realized what she was doing. 

Who had allowed her to become so dependent in so little time? 

That night, flowers tossed into pools and donut-themed pool toys occupied her dreams. 

* * *

The next morning, she went to her private laptop to study the language of flowers. It was gushy and gross, yet Celeste still found herself going to the florist in her free time when no one was sure to follow her. She intentionally went to a florist that was an hour away from where she was unlikely to come across anyone who would recognize her and realize what she was there for; she didn’t want some blubbering buffoon to ruin her intricately designed plan. 

She wanted to get a bouquet of flowers that would represent her feelings in flower language, before considering the thought that perhaps Hina wasn’t familiar with flower language. She ended up just getting a bouquet of red roses that were the same dusty red as Hina’s coat, and a card that she quickly scrawled a note on:

_For Hina, with all my love_

(Celeste ended up chickening out on her grand plan and ended up just dropping the bouquet off in her student mailbox when no one was looking, but she was sure she’d succeed next time.) 

* * *

“Ooh, this shade matches perfectly with your eyes…!” Hina fawned, pointing to a shade of red on an eyeshadow palette. 

“Mhmm,” Celeste agreed, too flustered to say anything else. She was sure if she opened her mouth, something indecipherable would come out as she marveled at the sight above her. 

Oblivious as ever, Hina was positioned above Celeste, sitting upright as she tested shades of the eyeshadow on her forearm, holding them against Celeste’s eyes. Her brows were furrowed in concentration, and strands of her hair fell forward, and if Hina leaned down enough, they would tickle Celeste’s face…

In a very un-Celeste manner, she can’t help but finally manage one decipherable thought:

_Oh God, I’m too gay for this._

Could you blame her? A _very_ beautiful girl, one who she was beginning to realize she _liked_ -liked (though the term was childish, she, unfortunately, _did_ ‘like-like’ Hina, despite the fact her life would be much easier if she didn’t) was straddled directly on top of her. 

In her dorm room, nonetheless. 

Celeste had never been more grateful for the combination of a lack of cameras in the dorms along with the fact that she had so much makeup piled on her face that Hina was unaware of her blushing. 

“Okay, I’m not really good at makeup…” Hina laughed awkwardly, fiddling with the brush in her hand. She shifted, and it took everything Celeste had in her to not move a muscle at the movement. “If this looks really bad, I’m sorry in advance.”

“Nonsense,” Celeste said, her voice wavering just a bit before picking up her dignified accent. Taeko Yasuhiro nearly had the reins for a moment… “I’m sure it will look marvelous. And if it doesn’t… no harm done.”

If it were Hifumi Yamada or another one of her servants who had said that, Celeste wouldn’t have gone easy on them, let alone even allowed them to be on top of her and do her makeup. However, as it were, it was Hina, who was nervously patting the brush on the palette.

She began to apply the brush right above Celeste’s left eye, and Celeste maintained her poker face as best as she could. Hina’s eyes didn’t waver from the work she was doing to Celeste’s eye, unaware of how intense Celeste was studying her. 

Celeste’s eyes were immediately drawn to Hina’s lips. Inwardly, she kicked herself at her obviousness, but outwardly, she hadn’t moved a muscle, not even blinking her long lashes down to showcase them to Hina. 

Hina’s lips were shiny with lip gloss. If they were a specific color, Celeste couldn’t tell, as her lips had always been a pink-brown for as long as Celeste could remember. Unconsciously, Hina began to gnaw at her lip, and Celeste had to refrain herself from screaming at her to demand to know what she was doing to her. 

Hina had never been one for makeup, explaining her hesitance in applying it to a face beside her own, but the limited makeup suited Hina just as well as the heavy makeup suited Celeste. Ever since she had come to terms with her crush on the girl, she became more and more attractive to Celeste, all while she was just being herself. 

“Done!” Hina announced happily, slamming the eyeshadow palette shut. Celeste decided not to point out how that would probably make the compacted makeup crack, instead giving the girl a soft smile. 

“Thank you,” she said, pulling out a small compact mirror. The work wasn’t anywhere near as elegant or experienced as Celeste’s own work, but it was Hina’s own and that’s all that mattered. 

“I know it’s not as good as your own, but—”

“It’s beautiful,” Celeste cuts her off. 

_You’re beautiful,_ she thinks as Hina laughs, tearing open Celeste’s nail polish bag as dozens of shimmering dark colors spilled out. 

Luckily, when Hina extends her hand out to Celeste to let her paint her nails, Celeste has an excuse to hold Hina’s hand, something she didn’t think she’d ever have the courage to do outside of their sleepover. 

* * *

Next, Celeste dropped off a bouquet of red poppies ( _pleasure_ in flower language) and primrose ( _I can’t live without you_ ). Written on another note, Celeste changed her handwriting to keep Hina on the tips of her toes:

_Someday, I’ll be able to tell you how I feel, but for now, please accept this token of my affections._

Maybe she should dial the vocabulary down? No matter, she had already sent the bouquet, and she doubted that Hina would put two and two together just after a slip-up or two. 

* * *

Days after that, Celeste left her signature red roses at Hina’s door, before turning on her heel to meet up with Hina in the cafeteria as Hina had requested of her. 

* * *

“Celeste!” Hina tapped Celeste’s shoulder with the eraser end of her pencil sheepishly. “Can I talk to you about something?” 

“What is it?” Celeste asked, setting her teacup down. The cafeteria was almost completely deserted save for a group of students on the opposite side. The two were whispering hushedly as they almost always did. 

“Do you… do you have a crush on someone?” Hina asks, choosing her words carefully. 

Celeste blinked. Once, then twice. Outwardly, she looked just a little taken aback by the question, but inwardly, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was going where she thought — or more accurately, _hoped_ — it was going. 

“That is unimportant,” Celeste finally decides on, also choosing her words carefully. “Why do you ask?” 

Hina ignores how Celeste painfully and obviously avoided the question. Instead, she jumps right into the thoughts that had been overwhelming her all morning. 

“Well, I’m just thinking,” Hina mumbles, the words spilling out of her mouth before she could articulate them. “I think… I think I _like_ -like Sakura.” 

“Is that so?” Celeste asked, raising a brow. Of course, it was all just a ploy, an act by Celestia Ludenberg. Times like these made Celeste grateful that Taeko Yasuhiro was long gone — being the pathetic loser and weakling she was, Taeko Yasuhiro would probably have run out of the room in tears at the words. 

However, she was Celestia Ludenberg. She was everything Taeko Yasuhiro wasn’t. She was capable of making it out of the conversation without giving the slightest hint of her feelings. 

“Yeah, and this person has been leaving me these flowers in my mail —” Celeste’s eyes widen and she stops drinking her tea abruptly, both actions unnoticed by Hina, “— and I hope it’s Sakura but I’m not really sure? But I don’t know if I want to find out who this person is and break their heart —”

“May I suggest something?” Celeste interrupts. She wasn’t sure if she could hear Hina debate on what to do with the secret admirer that was unknowingly sitting right in front of her without her Celestia Ludenberg shell cracking slightly. 

Hina nods, and Celeste quickly gives her two cents as soon as she is given confirmation. “Talk with Sakura. If you two get together, then the admirer will back off — if they don’t, then maybe you can ask Kirigiri-san to investigate for you. And if you two don’t get together, and you still don’t want the flowers, you can maybe leave a note in your mailbox to not leave any flowers?”

Hina blinked once. Then, a small smile spread across her face before she leaned across the table to capture Celeste in a tight embrace. 

“That’s really well-thought-out, thank you, Celeste!”

“No problem,” she manages, and luckily Hina loosens her grip thinking the strained words came from the hug rather than the wave of jealousy and regret enveloping Celeste.

“I’m gonna go confess to Sakura right now! She’s probably in the dojo… see ya, Celeste, and thanks!” 

Hina sprang up from her seat, rushing to the cafeteria door, waving at Celeste as she ran backwards. Celeste waved back, as dignified, collected, and poised as ever. Her posture, face nor red eyes give away none of the horrid feelings that were stirring beneath the surface. 

Had she been alone, Celeste would have smashed her teacup against the floor and let out the most guttural scream the world had ever heard. 

* * *

On her way back to her dorm, Celeste noticed the roses she had left outside of Hina’s door had already begun to wither and crumble. 

With a scoff, Celeste steals the roses back, being sure to stomp on them extra harshly as soon as the door is sealed shut. With a pair of scissors in hand, Celeste began to tear up the beautiful ruins of the roses until the only fragments left of the flowers were no bigger than one of her fingernails.

(She ignored how her nails were done in a sloppy, deep red from her sleepover with Hina just awhile ago. The paint was chipping and didn’t match Celeste’s sophisticated and collected persona, but she didn’t want to get rid of it, despite that was the only thing she longed to do now.) 

* * *

The next day in class, Celeste’s eyes were immediately drawn to Hina and Sakura’s intertwined hands, and how they were laughing and talking quietly together as they entered the class. 

How had she not noticed Hina becoming close to Sakura? Was she as dense as she was blind to not see how Hina had clawed for more time with Sakura, wanting to be with her? How, with all her time she spent staring at Hina, had she not noticed Hina looking at Sakura?

Celeste felt stupid. She felt like Taeko Yasuhiro.

She swatted away the comforting hand Junko leaned on Celeste’s shoulder, too dejected to verbally downplay her. 

The sight of Hina flushing red whenever Sakura touched or spoke to her was already enough torture. 

* * *

Celeste spent her time at a distance to simply observe. She wanted to see where she went wrong with it all. She felt like Toko when she began “researching” for her novels, but nonetheless, Celeste watched and watched until she felt as if there was nothing left to see. 

She noticed how Kirigiri’s eyes visibly softened whenever she looked at or noticed Naegi. 

(Celeste’s own eyes had never been anything but searingly red and unmoving, even to the token of her affections.) 

She noted how Mondo and Taka had stuck their necks out of their respective lifestyles to make time together more enjoyable.

(All Celeste could think of were outings spent shopping and/or eating donuts — never a compromise.) 

She noticed how Gundham never interrupted Sonia’s excited rambles, always waiting until she was done to share his own thoughts. 

(One-sided conversations and days spent listening, never sharing, were all that came to mind.)

_No wonder she fell for Sakura._ Celeste can’t help but think. The words float throughout her mind like a vital mantra — one she cannot function without repeating to herself once a night. _Sakura, who’s all those things and more. Sakura, who’s everything Taeko Yasuhiro_ and _Celestia Ludenberg is not. Sakura, who is not bad at love. Sakura, who is not_ me. 

If Hina, who was the only creature besides her own cat that Celeste loved, couldn’t bring herself to love Celestia Ludenberg, the greatest and most elite version of herself, then who could?

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was unfair. Maybe it was stupid and pathetic, but Celeste’s stomach couldn’t help but stir at the thought of it. 

Celeste had only lost two gambles in her life. One was with Hina when she said she wouldn’t enjoy the party, and the other was with Hina’s love. 

* * *

“This is the perfect day for a picnic,” Hina said contently as she stretched her arms out, milking in the sun. 

Months had passed since Sakura and Hina had gotten together, and their class was in their second year at Hope’s Peak now. To celebrate the new year, the class had agreed to ride to a park together to celebrate the occasion. 

Hina was driving with Celeste as Sakura’s car was filled with some other classmates. Hina blew Sakura a kiss, and thankfully, Celeste’s poker face covered up the urge she felt to shrivel up her nose at the gesture. Months had passed, yet she still had never recovered from the pang of jealousy she felt when she spotted them together. 

“Celeste, hurry up! I told Leon and Hiro that if we beat them to the park, they’d have to pay for our double date!”

“ _Our?_ ” Celeste chokes out. She knew she was talking about Sakura, she did, but hearing her name roll off Hina’s tongue as smoothly as ‘ _our_ ’ and ‘ _date_ ’ in the same breath rendered her speechless and made her more flustered than she thought was possible. 

“Yeah! Me and Sakura are going out with Leon and Hiro this weekend. Neat, huh?” Hina, predictably, remains oblivious to Celeste’s thoughts, sliding into the passenger seat of her car. 

Celeste would normally take a limousine to the park, but when everyone had agreed to drive together, she felt a bit silly at the thought of pulling up to a park in a limo, so she called her chauffeur off. Hina had yet to pass her driver’s test, meaning Celeste had to drive. 

The ride is silent. Hina had the windows down, her arm perched onto the edge of it. The wind lapped the excess strands of her hair around her face, and Celeste could feel the wind creeping up her arms. If it were anyone else, she’d turn the windows up (whether it was with or without warning was unimportant), but when she looked over and saw Hina’s relaxed face, her glare softened as she turned away to focus on the road. 

Stupid Hina for making her feel stupid emotions; and stupid time for not making those emotions not fade away as time passed. 

“I think I love her,” Hina says, just above a whisper. Despite the wind, Celeste hears her clear as day, and maybe it was just her dramatic imagination, but she could swear she hears her heart crack and fall apart, too. 

Swallowing the smallest bits of sadness upon hearing the words, Celeste plasters on a smile as she had on the day they had met. She didn’t even ask who Hina was referring to — she knew it was a lost cause. 

“I’m happy for you,” Celeste says, and she hates how she isn’t lying. She was happy Hina had found love, even if it hurt a little that it wasn’t with her. 

Hina looked to Celeste, and as Celeste pulled to a stop at a red light, Hina grabbed her arm desperately. When she turned to look at Hina, her eyes were wide and longing, and inches away from her own. 

“Do you think she loves me?” Hina asks, and Celeste wants to lie and say no, she doesn’t think so, just out of the selfish desire in her heart to comfort Hina so it would be just the two of them, but instead, Celeste laughs, a laugh much more light and amused than what Celeste was currently feeling. 

“I don’t see why she wouldn’t,” Celeste said. “You’re wonderful.”

If Hina knew that that was the closest thing she’d get to an “ _I love you_ ,” from Celeste, she didn’t say, as Celeste tore her red eyes away from Hina’s murky blue ones, turning to the road as the light changed from red to green. 

The two fall into silence again. They do end up beating Leon and Hiro there, and as Celeste watches as Hina rushes to Sakura to envelop her with a hug, she knows she’s lost a battle neither Hina nor Sakura were aware of. 

She slipped away from the group, her hands whiter than usual as she gripped a picnic basket, as she walked beside Junko, who gave her a knowing look. 

Neither stick around long enough to notice those special three words exchanged between Sakura and Hina. 

* * *

“You know that new lowerclassman? The astronaut? I think he’d have a field day if he saw these stars,” Hina said, laughing as she pointed upward to the night sky. The picnic had lasted hours, and all 16 attendees were still there, if scattered across the large field they occupied for their picnic. 

Celeste hummed in agreement, fighting the urge to look over to Hina. She knew that if she did, she’d see how her features were perfectly captured in the moonlight, and if she stared for too long, then someone would be sure to notice and point it out and —

“These stars are super pretty,” Hina unknowingly interrupts Celeste’s thoughts, pointing upward to the sky. “I wish I knew the constellations…” 

“I wish I did, too,” Celeste says, unsure how to respond. She feels Hina shift, looking at her, so Celeste turns her head to initiate the eye contact. 

Hina’s red jacket and white shirt had dulled in vibrancy in the night; her eyes were a bleak, near-black color, but even still, Celeste felt her breath catch at the sight of it. 

_Stupid Hina for making her feel stupid emotions; and stupid time for not making those emotions not fade away as time passed._

“Do you think Sakura knows about constellations?” Hina asks, and internally, Celeste groans, happiness deflating, but all Celeste does is blink. 

“You can ask.” She says, too tired to even hide the aggressiveness in her passive-aggressive thoughts. 

“Good idea!” Hina exclaims, oblivious to the unbidden bitterness in Celeste’s tone. She swiftly sprung to her feet; her shoes had been ditched hours ago, so Celeste watches as Hina wobbles awkwardly on her feet to the silhouette of her girlfriend, wincing every now and then as a sharp rock or stick pricks her foot. 

Celeste sighed, turning to the spot Hina had left behind. Celeste didn’t want to have to wash out grass stains from her expensive clothes, so she had laid on a spare picnic blanket, while Hina had fully embraced the greens and dirt of the grass. A Hina-shaped imprint was left behind from hours of laying down and talking, and all Celeste wanted to do was to call Hina back and wrap her arms around her. 

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was unfair. Maybe it was stupid and pathetic, but Celeste’s heart couldn’t help but flutter rapidly and her cheeks couldn’t stop themselves from reddening and heating up at the thought of it. 

Celeste wanted her cold hands to be trapped in Hina’s warmth; she wanted those dates and double dates and those exchanges of sweet nothings. She wanted those embraces and whispers of “ _I love you_ ” along with flowers and 2 in the morning donut raidings. 

She could admit she wanted Hina, but she could also admit that Hina didn’t want her in the way she wanted her to. 

And so, for once, Celestia Ludenberg stepped down, allowing Taeko Yasuhiro to take control. The Taeko Yasuhiro that she was sure Hina would still value come the day Celeste built up enough courage to tell Hina about her — the Taeko Yasuhiro that would help Celeste move on and someday be able to smile sincerely at Sakura and Hina without a hint of bitterness fighting its way up. 

That night, when Celeste returned home to her cat, she dreamt of red. Hina’s red jacket, of course, was included, but so was Junko’s red bow — the bow of her friend who helped guide her and was patient enough to help her through her messy feelings. She dreamt of red, as in the many roses she left for Hina and the red of poker chips and card symbols. She dreamt of the red of her love for Hina, the love that she would soon have the strength to bury. 

Burning red occupied her mind, and for the first time since Hina and Sakura had gotten together, Celeste welcomed the envisionment of the color. 

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i started femslash february with a 5k oneshot on a rarepair that nobody besides me and four other people care about @ celeshina stans pls interact i love u guys
> 
> might make a sequel to this on another day bc i won't even lie. junko is giving me a lot of pining for celeste energy from this,, someone stop me i don't even?? like junko why am i like this


End file.
